Thursday, 23 September 2010


Malaysians are getting married at older age. Why?

Say you are a fresh graduate at that age of 23, a male, starting a carrier

with a salary, say RM2000 per month.

Monthly, extracting your expenditures on foods, transportation (public

or motorcycle), electricity, water, phone, house rent and other

expenses, say you can save about RM800 the most.

Then, because you are a good son, you send some money to your parents or relatives about

RM300 per month. This will give you a balance of RM500 of saving. For the first year, maybe you are very discipline with

your budget, so you save about RM5000.

The next year at the age of 24, you meet a girl of your dream. Both of you

plan to get married after one year or two. Ok, that's fine, it gives you

time to save some more money and some more time to prepare the basic

necessities for a 'happy' family? a car and a roof to live under. That year

because you are a hard worker, you get a raise of 10%.

Since you are also a gentleman, you make sure some money is put aside to spend on dates and

gifts for your girl, so 10% goes for her. Like the previous year, after

much sweat and Meggie-eating months, you save another RM5000. You are paid 2 months bonus. So, another RM4000 is

added to your saving. So, your total saving now is RM14,000.

You decide to spend about RM8000 on a brand-new RM40,000 car down payment. So, you

net saving that year is RM6000.

The next year at the age of 25, you are doing fine at work. But because

now you have to pay for car every month, your total monthly saving is

cut down to about RM400. You save roughly about RM5000 that year. No

bonus that year because your company is doing poor. So, your total

saving in the bank is RM11,000.

Then, you decide to get engaged with

your girlfriend. She said OK. So, need to buy an engagement ring.

RM1500 is spent on ring plus 'hantaran pertunangan'. So, your net

saving that year is RM9,500.

The next year at the age of 26, you get promoted. Your

salary now is 1.5 of your starting salary at the company. Good news! You think. "Ok, this year

I will get married". You also are 'gersang' already. :)

So, you ask your fiancée "how much is the dowry (hantaran)? "

She say, "berapa-berapa yang u sanggup".

You ask,"RM5000 ok?".

She replies, "I okay je. Tapi my mom tu. Dia kata grad oversea macam I

ni mane boleh letak rendah-rendah. Paling kurang RM10,000 tau!".

Your eyes 'terjegil', air liur 'meleleh' and you faint on the spot.

"Where else in the world can I get extra money?", you say to yourself.

But, because you are very determined to get married with your dream

girl and in the name of love, you work really really hard that year

until you are awarded "The Best Employee of The Year". You get 3 months

of bonus. You also do some side business to supply ayam pencen. So,

roughly your net saving at the end of that year is RM20,000.

Ok, now you are 27 years old with enough saving in the bank to pay for

the dowry. But then, come your mom saying,"Anak mak nak kawin ni mesti

la buat grand grand. Kita sewa khemah besar-besar, jemput penyanyi ke

artis ke sorang dua datang buat persembahan. Lauk pauk kita cater aje

la ya? RM10 je sekepala. Baju kawin ko, kita sewa yg cantik-cantik

dan mahal-mahal sket. Kita jemput dalam 1000 orang datang ok?"

You did a quick in-the-head-calculation,

"1000xRM10=RM10,000, penyanyi lagi, khemah lagi, buta-buta je RM15,000!!! Tu tak masuk cincin kahwin lagi!!"

You say,"Mak, nak buat apa membazir-bazir duit ni?"

Your mom replies,"Apa pulak membazirnya? Kau kawin sekali je seumur hidup.

`Biarlah buat betul-betul." You insist,"Tapi mak?"

Your mom says, "Dahlah, kau jangan nak buat malu mak. Cik Tipah jiran

kita tu buat kenduri kat hotel siap dato, datin, tan sri puan sri lagi

datang. Mana la mak nak letak muka kalau buat kenduri kecik kecik?".

Anyway, you finally get married. But, a beautiful happy life after

marriage that you dream of with your wife does not last long. You have

debts around your waist, interest gets higher every month, cannot

afford to pay them, you wife gets tired of you asking money from her,

she accuses you of being irresponsible husband for not being a good

provider, blah blah blah? At the

end, you two go into separate ways? You get divorced.

Problem breeds problem? Sometimes we wonder why marriage institution is failing in our country.

The above example may not represent the whole phenomena in our culture,

but perhaps it gives us some ideas of the problems young couple these

days are facing in getting married from my perspective.

The Root Cause of The Problem...

There is something wrong in our culture. I really think there are some

practices in our culture in Malaysia (Malay culture specifically) that

do not make sense and especially they are contrary to the teaching of

Islam. These practices are well-rooted in our culture that

unfortunately because of them, many people are 'afraid' to get married,

or simply feel like they cannot afford when they are actually can


These are some of my observation and summary analysis:

(1) Marriage should be done in the most modest way but in Malaysia, it

is ought to be done in the most lavish way. Competition on whose

wedding is the most grandeur is almost unavoidable. Fame is usually the

reason why people spend unreasonable and wasteful amount of money for a


(2) The "price" of a woman is measured according to her perhaps

educational status not according to her knowledge and understanding of

Deen and piety as suggested by the religion. The saddest thing is that

"price" is put on women, who are supposed to be, if God-loving,

kind-hearted and pious ones, "priceless"! 'Dowry' system is adopted by

the Malays from perhaps the Indians who came to Malaysia long time ago.

When the 'dowry' is put too high and men can't afford to pay, marriage

is usually delayed or cancelled. An effort to build another small brick

unit of this Deen is delayed or perhaps destroyed only for this reason.

(3) Marriage should be a quick and easy process for the couple not hard,

which eventually becomes a burden. These days, we make marriage so

complicated that people are afraid of getting married. When I was in

the Sydney, I saw Muslim brothers and sisters getting married at the

mosque, with just some sweets as the main course for the guests. The

guests who were invited to witness the ceremony were usually whoever

prayed jemaah at the mosque or some close relatives and friends. There

is no point of being extravagance. We should focus on the life after wedding not the wedding

itself. Wedding is only a door to the marriage house. Why should we

spent a lot of money to decorate the door so beautifully, when the

inside of the house is then left empty, dark and unattractive?

...and the pressure is on men...

Wednesday, 22 September 2010

Sejenak Untuk Renungan

Bila Allah uji kita sehingga terasa sedih...
bagaimanakah pula kesedihan yang mereka rasai...?
Bila Allah uji kita...
adakah kita bersungut & mengeluh?
bagaimanakah pula perasaan mereka??

Sekadar untuk renungan & muhasabah diri buat diri saya yang lemah ini.

Monday, 20 September 2010

Peringatan Untuk Saya

peringatan untuk saya

Tuesday, 14 September 2010

The Life Cycle

Rasanya dah lama saya tak berblog..maksud saya, saya mencurahkan idea sendiri..
Bukan apa, idea tak berapa nak ada untuk menulis...(walaupun pada hakikatnya saya taip je, tak tulis pun)..
Kalau nak menulis ni, time mood kena ada, baru banyak idea...
Lagipun, saya memang suka menulis dari zaman muda-muda lagi (ceh, cakap macam dah tua sangat je..padahal angka 3 tu tak mencecah lagi =) ).
Ok, kita perhatikan gambar bawah ni betul-betul yer....

The Life Cycle

Ni la kehidupan kita...hidup ibarat roda..

Semasa kita kecil (macam dalam gambar ni, yang kotak 1st tu)...kita memerlukan bantuan orang lain..kita lahir, mana reti nak kayuh basikal sendiri kan...mak ayah kita la yang bawak kita (tu kalaua naik basikal la, kalau naik motor & kereta pun, orang lain yang bawak kan)..mana la ada orang lahir-lahir terus kahyuh basikal sendiri...Macam tu juga dengan hidup, kita tak tahu nak urus diri sendiri, mak ayah yang uruskan...(jap jap, tetiba teringat kat baby yang kena buang tu..kesian kan, kecik2 dah kena buang, tak tahu pape pun..mak yang buang tu, dulu masa baby pun, mak ayah dia gak yang uruskan dia...).
Sambung balik, macam tu la psikologi baby, kena ada orang uruskan, supaya boleh terus hidup..
Dan begitu juga kita manusia, ada masanya kita memerlukan bantuan orang sepenuhnya kerana ada masanya kita tidak mampu untuk berbuat sesuatu...

Then, pic pada kotak kedua tu
Ha...time ni, dah pandai naik basikal roda 3..ingat dulu masa kecik2, saya pun naik basikal roda 4 (bukan macam dalam gambar ni), ada 2 tayar kecik kat belakang..untuk bagi keseimbangan masa bawak basikal...dan, kanak-kanak pun tak reti dapat basikal naik basikal roda 2...kena la belajar dulu, bagi balance kan badan masa nak bawak basikal....
Macam tu juga dengan kehidupan, kanak-kanak masih lagi perlukan bantuan, walaupun time ni dah boleh buat sendiri beberapa perkara..
Macam tu juga dengan kita, tak semua perkara kita boleh bua sendiri kan..ada masanya kita perlukan juga bantuan orang lain.

Pic pada kotak ke3 pula...
Time ni dah dewasa, so boleh la bawa basikal sendiri (kalau yang tak reti naik basikal tu...ha, naik la motor ke, kereta ke..hihihi)..Time ni kudrat kita kuat
Bila dah dewasa, kita mampu untuk berdikari sendiri..kita boleh buat kerja sendiri..beruntungkan kita, sebab dalam kita mampu untuk berdikari, ada juga insan yang pada tahap ini, masih lagi berada pada tahap kotak yang pertama, mean kena ada orang uruskan macam baby...bersyukur kerana kita berada pada kotak ini dan mampu untuk uruskan diri kita sendiri...

Pic pada kotak ke4
Time ni kita dah berusia, dan kita kembali kepada asal..kerana kudrat kita telah terbatas....dan kalau lagi terbatas, jadilah kita macam dalam gambar tu..duduk atas kerusi roda...dan ada orang lain bantu kita..time ni, kita tak tahu, sama ada yang bantu kita tu anak-anak kita atau orang lain yang bukan ahli keluarga kita..(jom kita cek diri kita, mak ayah kita sekarang ni masih ada lagi & masih sihat atau sakit???, adakah kita jaga mak ayah kita??)

Dan inilah fitrah kehidupan...pusingan dalam kehidupan...kita tetap akan kembali pada yang asal..dari tanah kita datang, kepada tanah jua kita kembali...dari asal kita tidak berupaya melakukan apa-apa, maka pada akhir hayat kita apabila kita tua kelak, kita juga memerlukan bantuan orang lain juga nanti...

Begitu lah kita...pusingan dalam kehidupan kita...namun, setakat kotak yang mana kita dapat tempuh???itu, hanya ALLAH yang tahu...mampukah kita sampai ke tahap kotak ke4???Wallahualam....
Renung-renungkan...sudahkah kita semua bersedia.......

Sarang heyo (^_^)

Tuesday, 7 September 2010

Kad Raya Saya

Ni tahap pemalas punya buat...weeeeee

Saya nak ucapkan Selamat Hari Raya
Mohon kemaafan segala salah dan silap kepada semua
Berhati-hati di jalan raya

(^_^) sarang heyo

Sunday, 5 September 2010

Iklan Raya

Kali ni nak bercerita pasal iklan raya la pulak.. Ingat tak, ada satu iklan tu, dari salah satu stesyen TV kat negara kita, ada siarkan satu iklan raya yang kononnya konsep 1 Malaysia....tapi entah eh, macam mengarut je....dah macam Krismas la pulak..tak paham la apa konsep sebenarnya.. Tapi kali ni, saya nak share 1 iklan PKNS..pada saya sangat la best.. Rasa macam ada aura Arwah Yasmin ... Ni yang kita mahukan . Iklan yang memberi pengajaran & keinsafan..
Tak nak cite banyak.. jom la kita layan kan

Sudah Bersediakah Saya???

Sayu di hati tiap kali mendengar lagu ni..
Sudah bersediakah saya???
Ni bukan mood nak berjiwang-jiwang..
Tapi sudah bersediakah saya
Untuk memikul tanggungjawab yang besar ni???


Sunyi suasana…
Lafaz sakinah bermula

Apa rasa
Diterjemah hanya
Sebak abah, tangis ibunda


Adalah aku, wali puteriku
Serah kini amanahku ini pada mu
Nafkahilah dia, curah kasih dan cinta
Lebih dari yang ku berikan kepadanya

Dulu esakkannya sandar di bahuku
Tangisannya kini ku serah padamu
Bukan bermakna, dia bukan milikku
Fitrahnya perlukanmu

Jadikanlah dia wanita syurga
Mengerti benar akan maharnya
Taat itu bukan hanya pada nama
Indah ia pada maksudnya

Ku akur
Akan pesanmu
Puterimu kini amanahku

Dengan doamu
Bahagia kami dari redhamu

sarang heyo (^_^)

Wednesday, 1 September 2010

Asal Usul (Lawak)

Pepagi ni nak melawak sikit..
Picture ni dapat kat pakcik google
Lain dicari, lain yang dapat.
Apa pun...hakhakhakhakhak...
Lawak la picture ni..
Jom..layanken aje la

sila klik pada gambar, so boleh baca lagi terang =)

P/S Jangan mencarut...jangan keluarkan perkataan yang tidak senonoh yer...
Tidak elok & buat tambah dosa je...